What if it's you?
by blacksmoon
Summary: The dark times lie ahead. Sirius loses his grip. Remus faces the reality. Oneshot.


Please, **R&R, **I'll be eternally grateful.

**Disclaimer:** They don't belong to me. JK owns them. That's all.

_**AN**: I wrote this in about... a half an hour or less, so don't be too hard on me._

_Sirius and the co. are twenty-one years old, meaning that they were born in 1960. It's the choice I've made. Enjoy the story:)_

--

What if it's you?

_September 1981._

Sirius ran into his and Remus's apartment, closing the door and placing several locking charms on them. Letting out a sigh of relief, he took off his coat and shoes and entered the living room.

His best friend and room mate, Remus Lupin, was sprawled in a plush armchair and reading a book. The light-haired man glanced at Sirius over the rim of his reading glasses. "Bon soir, Sirius." He smirked, closing the book lying in his lap. Seeing Sirius's worried face, the man frowned. "What's wrong Padfoot?"

"Death Eaters." Sirius let out a humourless laugh. "They are everywhere Moons. No one can stop them."

Remus slowly got up and moved towards the kitchen. "Listen, I'll make a cup of tea and..." He was rudely interrupted by Sirius.

"Did you know that they've killed Caradoc Dearborn? People are _dying _Moony. Every day. This war is getting worse and the Ministry can't do a thing about it." Sirius's voice faltered. "What if..."

"Don't even think about it Black. Just don't, ok?" Remus said curtly, waving his wand and conjuring two mugs. He put a kettle on the stove, turning to look at the black-haired man. Sirius was staring at the floor, his jaw set hard.

"So, what? You'll pretend that's it's not happening?" He said through gritted teeth.

"How can you say that?" Remus scowled, his eyes flashing with anger. "Don't be selfish, Sirius. This war is affecting everyone, not just _you_!"

"Well, you're not acting like it's affecting you!" Sirius shouted, getting into Remus's face.

Remus growled, pinning him against the wall. There was a flicker of fear in Sirius's dark eyes.

"Someone has to stay sane. There's work to do. I can't just lose it and start acting like an old woman. You think that it's easy for me? Well let me tell you something, _it's not!_ Some of my old friends from Hogwarts are dead. Dumbledore sends me on these, these _weird mission_s every other day. James and Lily are in danger and I'm so _fucking_ scared, Sirius! I'm scared! We're only twenty-one years old. Do you think I want to die? That I want that madman to take over the world?" Remus chocked on his last words, letting Sirius move away from the wall.

The werewolf picked up the kettle and poured the steaming water into mugs. When the tea was ready, he walked over to Sirius, pushing one mug into his hands. Sitting back into his armchair, he tried to make himself comfortable. That's when he heard it. A sob. Frowning, he realised that Sirius was crying.

He panicked because he'd never seen Sirius cry before. James had cried, Lily as well, and even himself sometimes, but Sirius never. He was the tough one amongst them.

"God Sirius... Mate." Remus whispered, scrambling to his feet to stand next to his friend. He enveloped the black-haired man into a tight hug, letting him cry in his arms. They never noticed that the rain had started to fall outside.

"I can't do this. I can't." Sirius sobbed, his voice shaking. "I wanted to travel the world, be the best godfather to Harry, find a nice bird and maybe get married. I don't want to die Moons. I don't. What if I lose James? James, my first true friend in this world! What if it's someone we really care about next? What if it's you? I... I can't."

Remus allowed a tear to escape his eye. He knew that Sirius was right. That the dark times were lying ahead and that the victims were inevitable. That it could be any of them.

That was the scary truth. The reality that couldn't be ignored.

Remus was, maybe for the second time in his life, at the loss of words. He did not know what to say to comfort his friend. He did not want to make promises, because at times like these, promises could not be kept.

"We'll get through this Sirius. I don't know how, but I hope that somehow we will. We'll be ok." Lupin murmured, soothingly stroking the soft black locks.

Sirius only hugged him tighter in response, just like a frightened child would.

--

A month later, a father was killed. A mother gave her life to protect her only son. One boy lived. A Dark Lord vanished. An innocent man was arrested and sent to Azkaban prison.

One man's world came crashing down.

The End


End file.
